as much as i try not to think too much abt it,

i just cant help it.

one thing led to the other.

another thing then leads to another another thing.

so tell me how not to think abt it?

but it's ok.

i've learnt how to keep things to myself.

some things that is.

cant afford to keep every single damn thing inside this fragile heart & not letting it out.

though smile may be carved & laughter may erupt,

only He knows the other side of it that noone else knows.

trying to be more patient each day.

but once it's over the limit, beyond tolerance,

that's it.

still contemplating,

shd i take mc on that day or not?

G.C.'s "i dont wanna be in love" song is so freakin addictive!

do u wanna be in love? do u not?

me?

i wanna be in love,

i dont wanna be in crappy shit.

i'm crapping already.

bai.

28Oct.8.17pm.

random pix.

*make a guess of what's beneath?
*guess no more. tada!!!!!!! a cat suffering from hyperthermia. haha. so kiyut.
*i like the gearbox. like a joystick u use to play games. erk~
*driving an MPV. kehkeh!
*us. shaas.

im pissed.

as i was driving my mum home from raya-ing, i was being bullied by this sickening road bully.

he thinks he drives a BIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGG car, i have to give in n make way for him?

my assssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

idiot.

i entered a small n narrow lane that leads to my house & at both sides of the lane, there were cars that were parked there. so i was prctically squeezed in between n had to move slow.

so at the same time, this idiot happened to be moving off towards my direction. BUT..only one car is parked on one side of the lane where he was at. n the other side was empty. so i didnt move an inch, thinking that he would give some way for me to pass.

HELL NO.

he was also stagnant. i waited for quite a while for him to reverse to the side that was empty.

HELL NO.

so we both were in that position for like 2mins? both not wanting to give way. BUTTTTTTTTTT........

in the end I did.

after that idiot turned on his HIGH BEAM, practically blinding me.

BLARDY hell.

so i bo pian have to reverse uphill. 1st time doing that seyy. grrrrr!

AND.....

when he move passed me, he dare to give me THAT STARE.

parn-tart ok.

was irritated till i pressed the horn for no reason. my mum who's beside me was like 'sabar girl, sabar....' ('be patient girl,patient....'). haha.

i mean, logical thinking, HE 's the one who's supposed to make way for me rite?

apparently, he's a no-brainer who happened to be able to drive a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG car. so sad.

mentang2 kete aku ade TRIANGLE, sesuke hati kau nk kasi aku kanchong keppppppperrrrrrr?

cey...kete aku konon. haha.

oh wells......

i believe there're lots more of this kinda crap that'll happen once u're able to drive.

chill k.

tomorrow's monday. i'm feeling the monday blues already.

siannnnnn.

till then...calo.

27Oct.3.30pm.

something done out of boredom in a corner of my kitchen while visitors came for raya.......
found this in a fellow blogger's blog.

HOW MUCH HAVE YOU CHANGED IN 7 YEARS?
--7 YEARS AGO--

1) How old were you?
* 11.
2) Where did you go to school?
* Ang-Moh-Kio Primary School.
3 ) Where did you work?
* Home. Thr's such a thing called HOMEWORK.
4) Where did you live?
* Thomson.
5) Where did you hang out?
* Playgrounds & Home. i'm a guud lil girl wokeh.
6) Did you wear glasses?
* Glasses r for drinking. oh u mean spectacles? that'll be a no.
7) Who was(were) your friend(s)?
* Cant possibly name all of 'em but lemme try to recall..... nadzirah, noraisah, nuriza, faraheen, hazirah, humairah, erlianna, herman, khairul, iszuan, hanif, twins, izyanna, arif, jared, yiu yiu etc etc.....
8 ) How many piercings did you have?
* i'm scared of guns.
9) What car did you drive?
* remote control car.
10) Had you been to a real party?
* define real party......thr're fake parties?? i think ive been to a party which i thought was a party but actually it wasnt.
11) Had your heart broken?
* it shd be, i broke people's heart.
12) Single/Taken/Married /Divorced?
* i wish i was married n have 12 kids.

--2 YEARS AGO--
1) How old were you?
* 16
2) Where did you go to school?
* 'Tindik' aka Peirce Secondary School
3 ) Where did you work?
* After 'o'levels, worked at a pharmacy.
4) Where did you live?
* Still Thomson. 4eva Thomson. HIDOP MATI THOMSON!!!!
5 ) Where did you hang out?
* Anywhere i believe is worth hanging out at. lazy to list them all.
6) Did you wear glasses?
* YES.
7) Who were your friends?
* Again?? hmmm.... lemme recall..... Aisah, baizura, siti, Alea, fasihin, putra, mas, hanif, rahimi, faris etc etc....
8) Who was your crush?
* ini pn nk kene bilang ke??? not impt k. ha.ha.
9) How many tattoos did you have?
* Gila nk mampos?
10) How many piercings did you have?
* eh sleng, i said i'm scared of guns.
11) What car did you drive?
* Daytona.
12) Had your heart broken?
* yes n i broke others' too. ha.ha.
13) Single/Taken/Married /Divorced?
* i wish i was married. with 24 kids.

--NOW--
1) How old are you?
* going on 19! still 18!!!!!
2) Where do you work?
* currently in a company that u've never heard of. graduating from NYP soon.
3) Where do you live?
* HIDOP MATI THOMSON LAR!
4) Do you wear glasses?
* YES
5) Who are your friends?
* weishan, jac, farah, suraya, amalyna, azril, wenhui, yee ching, nabila, shereen etc etc
6) Do you talk to your old friends?
* Duhh~ but maybe just simple n boring conversations.
7 ) How many piercings do you have?
* oi. i'm scared of guns laaaaaa.
8) How many tattoos?
* over my dead hamsters' dead bodies. if u can find them, then i'll get a tattoo. sticker tattoos ok. can?
9) What kind of car do you drive?
* the kind of car that can squeeze in btwn other vehicles in times of traffic congestion.
10) Has your heart been broken?
* hopefully not. which dumbo wants his/her heart to be broken? ok i guess dumbos lah.
11) Single/Taken/Married /Divorced?
* Ok at this age, this qn is very relevant. Taken.
12) Where do you hang out?
* i'm a homey person.

till then.....calo.

27Oct.12.22pm.

pardon my previous 2 entries.

for the non-malays,

all i was saying is that...

life is Beauty-Fool.

ha. ha.

Oct25th. 12.53am.

aku bbl mcm minah kappppaaaaaa??????
sukati laki tiri sblh datuk sblh cucu kucing aku nye bini nye bisan nye ipar nye moyang nye cicit nye adik nye burung gagak lar!

current mood: TAK PAHAM BAHASE KEPE AKU CKP TKDE MOOD,TKDE MOOD LARRRRRRR!!!!!

till then......berambosia lar!

Oct25th. 12.50am.
sea-yacht ah.....y r my cheeks wet?!!!!!
oh wait.
m i tearing?
lemme check....
erk~.

dia tk rase pape yg kau nk melebih knp?
lembekkkkk sey.

current mood: parn-tart ah aku tkde mood lah bow-dough!

till then....berambos!

my so-called open house(21Oct)..........

*iqah (my cuzzie who has the same bdae as me), akif(nephew),insyiroh(niece) & me.
*same caption as above.
*same caption as above + my bro yg sempat tangkap glam.
*my going-to-be-sis-in-law-no.2 (in tudung) wif her sis n my so-ever-famous baby.
*1st family to my open hse.

till then...calo.

2nd day of raya (14Oct)........

*bro n me.
*at nyai's nest.
*at "going-to-be-sis-in-law-no.1's" crib. mentel vs coooooool je.
*at "going-to-be-sis-in-law-no.2's" crib. coooooool je vs otak sengets.
*one n only nyai left.

till then...calo.

Saturday. 20th Oct. 7.30pm.

2wks of not on-ing my lappie (or internet to be precise) is crazy! dono wadda hekk is wrong wif it (pardon me, im a no IT person) n i just kept on refreshing IE (internet explorer la u dumb! ceycey....lol.), hoping that a miracle wld happen but obviously...fat hope.
so i just asked my bro to call the pakcik (uncle) who initially set up my wireless broadband n God knows wad he asked my bro to do coz i was at work tdy.
so fortunately n unexpectedly my boboi so-called sent me home cum 'raya-ing' to my house n i told him of the prob n he said he cld try fixing it up coz his parents work for the subscriber that i subscribed. so somehow he cld do some trial n error. in the process, he called 4 some technical support (his parents lah) n walah! i can blog again!!!
so wads the solution to the prob, turn off my proxy server. just that. n sheesh... ive been refreshing IE like sicko maddo dumbo n turning that off is all i gotta do? ya sucha IT dummy i m. I ADMIT TAU!!!!!! haha.
so since i got my own personal technician, i can purposely turn my connection haywire so he can come down to my place to fix it. how does the plan sounds? k crap.
im just hapie the connection's back wokeh!

so for hari raya part. hmmmm.....as usual 1st n 2nd day went out visiting coz my parents r the youngest amongst their siblings. mum has 11 altogether n she's the 2nd youngest but her younger sis is no longer breathing so ya...mum is the youngest now.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........
so overall it was aite...met with relatives that can only be met once a yr. (wadda hell is wrong wif my ingrish?!)
the seeking of 4giveness part? hahahaha. lets just say i'm still immature when it comes to this situation. i actually laughed when seeking 4giveness frm my bro. hahahaha! sori eh abg....haha. but then again, come to think of it, y do we seek 4 4giveness only on hari raya? y accumulate ur sins or wrongdoings 4 one yr? guess this practice is 4 those whom u dont get to meet frequently that u seek 4giveness once a yr when u finally get to meet one another. but then again, come to think of it again, sometimes we commit mistakes w/o our own self knowing. so all the more we shd be apologising, to our parents especially, more frequently before it's ever too late. only then u wanna start crying n wailing n yelling n distorting ur face? pointless isnt it? this is like a reminder to myself as well. disobedient, celupar n cilupba! haha.
so anw, some pix r up. the rest not transferred yet. so meantime, make do wif wad i managed to dig....

*formal shot.

*candid. haha. erk~

*at aunt's plc at jrg. 2nd hse visited.

*sempat main card dgn adeq nana.

*adeq insyiroh. she loves wiping the floor wif her bum + fully filled diapers

till then...calo.

2nd Oct. 945pm.

eh eh.....raye dah sekat seyyyy. masyaAllah.... feels like its yesterday that muslims start to fast but now we're 10days away from hari raya! camat ayi aye!!!!!

really didnt feel the mood of raye coz currently, i'm too caught up with work n by the time i'm home, i'll be soooooper tired n sleepy to think n do anything else. n heck, my home is like.....erm...messy lah. can guarantee that this wkend will be dedicated to spring 'raye' cleaning.

that aside, it's a sucky feeling to know that during this happy2 season, i gotta work. haiyoh......faster lah attachment habis. 3rd day raye hafta go back to work. not too sure if raye eve can get half day off or smtg. but if cant, i'll press my mgr to make it a can. i dont care la sey. her impression towards me is already like 'cant make it'. coz y? i make that office like my home. hahahahah! im never punctual, come late but leave early, always caught doing stuff that im not supposed to but when i'm really doing work, nobody ever sees it, bully my colleagues (they always say this but i just dont know where i went wrong n they didnt tell me anything), go for late lunch at like 2.30 or 2.45pm so when i come back to office, it'll be less than 2hrs left of work to go etc...

hmmmm wokeh......i'm starting to whine again but dono lah just felt like typing but dono what else to type abt.

n oh! after like 5yrs gone, i started to read readers' digest again! the latest version of that magazine is the one with large prints n it look exactly like a children's storybook. i guess that's what tempt me to buy. like $13 bucks lah sey. stoooppeeeeed rite? lol.

what else eh? oooooh! gaji dah masok! yeyeyey! going shopping this wkend! hunz, cant wait to meet u la sey. 3wks tk jumpe kan kan kan? wiiiiiiindu banget. keke!

till then...calo.